But you promised…

Never have I wanted so much to die.
A heartbreaking echo from years past
whispered in my memories, of a time
the sea tempted you to wade in until
your troubles were swept away, and
you never came back.

I was trapped.
An inherently selfish act to pass on
the grief, the guilt, the heartache;
you’ll never be convinced we don’t care,
because that’s a lie too far, even for
this deceitful illness.

I always remember promising you
and I hope you never forget. Because
I’d give anything to have that chance to
tell you that there’s still hope. Still love.
Still value. Still a reason to carry on.

I’m not okay

Although I wrote this poem in January, I think I’m about done revising it. For a tiny poem, it’s been through 11 drafts, and I think I’ve given up. It’s as good as it’s going to get. Feel free to make suggestions though!


My shoulder muscles tense,
instinctive reaction to a

I’m not okay.

My fight or flight response
a bone-deep warning to
avoid sudden movements.

A wee poem

I’ve got a few poems jotted down that need a second (or twelfth) look before they’re ready to share, but this one is unlikely to become any more than it is, so I’m just throwing it out there.

I was sitting in a rattan egg chair (I think they’re called egg chairs? Like a little cave of a chair, suspended from the ceiling? Anyway, moving on) on the porch/verandah/deck at my in-laws’ this afternoon, and as I half dozed in the sun, wondering if I should start a new book or if my husband and my mother-in-law were serious that work would only take ‘fifteen to twenty minutes’, my eyes were drawn to the patterns in the chair. And ta da, a poem was born. *shrugs* It’s not great, but I feel like there are a couple of people who followed me when I was posting poems every day and I’ve neglected them lately. This poem isn’t probably the best way to indulge them, but oh well. I do have a few more on the way, but I think they have potential to be stronger, so I’ll hold on to them for a little bit.

The rattan is woven around the sides
in such a way as to make
and the borders
are encircled with bands
that give a sense of
decorative purpose.