We just watched the movie Bad Moms and it was funny and real, and made me all bloggy and philosophical. But it’s late and I want to read before I have to sleep, and it’s a school night. Well, not literally since the kids are still on summer holidays, but I have work in the morning.
We came upstairs to our bedroom and Steve says “Tell me three things you love about me.”
I figure, I can do this. I’m up to this challenge. So I knee-walk across the bed to him (don’t worry, we’re all still fully clothed at this point!) and tell him three things I love about him.
“I love that you’re romantic and you don’t let anyone see it except me.”
“I love that you’re thoughtful, like buying a bar of chocolate today because you thought I might need some tonight.” I did, by the way.
“I love that you listen to me bitch about all my little problems, and then you help me come up with solutions for them.”
“Okay, your turn.”
His face screws up. I roll my eyes. “Come on, I did it, so can you!”
“I love that you complete my weirdness.”
“I love that you make me laugh.”
“I love that you give me blowjobs.”
I start laughing and can’t stop. Between gasps of hysteria (I’ve literally fallen over on the bed by this point, I’m laughing so hard), I wheeze, “You love that I’m weird and give blowjobs!” I am literally laughing so hard I have tears running down my face.
I laugh until my tummy hurts, and then I decide that I just have to blog this because it was so goddamn funny. And so Steve. I write the first two things I said to him. “Shit, I can’t remember the third thing I said to you. What was it?” “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”
I haven’t laughed so much in so long.
Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm a moderator at Writing.com, the mother of two gifted children, the wife of a Twitch gaming streamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. I've been reading since I was 4 years old, writing poems (badly) since 1994, blogging since 2001 and I started studying photography in 2010. This blog will contain poems, short stories, photos, book reviews and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it.